


your hand fits mine (pull me just a little closer)

by thisapathy



Series: say you'll never let me go [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Consensual Underage Sex, Established Relationship, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Road Trips, Smut, omg so much hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-29 11:12:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6372460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisapathy/pseuds/thisapathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s not a date,” Ron reminds him.</p><p>Carl smiles as he holds Ron’s hand in the popcorn line. “Okay, Ron.”</p><p>alternate version of "the ghost of you is close to me"<br/>(in which there are 0 parallels because Ron and Carl are nerds in love)</p>
            </blockquote>





	your hand fits mine (pull me just a little closer)

Ron and Carl are careful. Extremely careful. They don't dance around each other, they don't avoid each other around the rest of their family; that would only call attention to them. They spend time together like usual, settling for stolen glances and the gentle brush of their arms when they play video games in Carl's room. Even when they're home alone with Sam, they're careful. Never messing around, never even chancing it. They figure they'll tell their parents sooner or later, just as soon as they figure out how. Maybe they'll tell them after Ron goes away to college in the fall. Carl still doesn't want to think about that; long distance relationships sound like complete shit. But Ron was accepted at the university he wanted most. He wants to be a child psychologist, he's told Carl, so he can help kids who are treated just as badly as Ron was treated by his father.

But that's in the future; for now Ron and Carl settle on just being close. They'll text back and forth in their separate bedrooms late at night. They haven't fucked in almost a month. So yeah, they're careful until Ron apparently can't resist the urge to grab Carl's fingers when they pass each other in the second floor hallway before school one morning.

"What?"

Ron leans in for something—a whisper, a kiss, whatever—and Carl is quick enough to tug him into the open bathroom.

Ron bites his lip as if he remembers they've got to be super careful and scoots past Carl with a hand on his hip. "Just need to brush my teeth."

Carl's eyes dart around and he grabs a comb on the counter, running it through his hair as Ron brushes his teeth.

"Do you have plans after school?" Carl asks, fixing the part in his hair.

"Yeah," Ron mumbles around a mouthful of bristles and white foam. Carl watches as Ron spits into the sink and rinses his mouth, tossing the brush back into the holder. And then Ron turns to the side, kissing him with a clean mouth that tastes like spearmint. He doesn't even get the chance to return it before Ron is walking out of the bathroom.

Carl follows, comb still in hand. "What are your plans?"

"Mom's taking me car shopping. Wanna come?"

"No, I just thought maybe we could do something together. It's been a while since we... yeah."

"I know. I'm working on it, okay? Promise." Ron lowers his voice significantly, blocking Carl's exit. "Car shopping could potentially result in car buying which could definitely result in car sex, so there's that."

Carl can't fight the smile that creeps up on his face. "Fine."

"You're gonna come?"

Carl pushes Ron out of the way. "I better."

+

Car shopping turns into car buying turns into the three of them sitting at the car dealership so Jessie can apply for a loan because they found Ron a used Jeep Wrangler. Carl and Ron wait at one of the tables in the lobby drinking Cokes from the vending machine and eating peanut M&Ms. Carl's phone is dead and Ron's is at 4% so sooner than later, Ron's phone dies too and then they're stuck sitting there with nothing to do but talk.

+

Later in the week Jessie insists that it's movie night to Rick's and Ron's and Carl's dismay. Sam is the only one excited enough to run and claim the big chair in the corner. Jessie and Rick take the couch so Ron and Carl are stuck sharing the love seat.

The lights are down low and they're watching some based-on-real-life sports movie that is so dull and boring that Carl is nodding off ten minutes in.

"Wake up," Rick tells him. "If we gotta watch this, so do you."

Carl groans and lifts his head like it takes all the effort in the world. "I'm cold."

Sam throws him a blanket from the back of his chair and Carl spreads it out over his lap.

"You have to share," Ron decides, tugging the blanket over his lap too.

Oh no. _No, no, no._ Carl knows where this is going and—yep, there it is. Ron's hand settles on the top of Carl's thigh. Carl shoots him a look—a death glare, maybe—but Ron ignores it and stares straight at the TV. But then Ron's hand slides into Carl's lap and Carl bites his lip to stifle a gasp.

Ron wastes no time in slipping his hand beneath the elastic waistband of Carl's pajama pants and wrapping his fingers—his long, cold fingers—around Carl's cock. He has to stifle a gasp and when he glares at Ron, Ron's eyes are fixated on the TV screen.

He could fake being asleep and let Ron jerk him off in the presence of their whole family but that idea loses its appeal when Sam looks over at them.

Carl makes a gesture of shoving Ron's hand away at the same time he shifts in his seat. It's subtle and no one notices. But when Ron is probably least expecting it Carl reaches to hold his hand under the blanket.

+

They're alone, finally, but it's only for twenty minutes or so after school. Carl has intentions of spending those twenty minutes with Ron's cock in his mouth or his ass (he's not picky) but then Ron reminds him just how good of a kisser he is and suddenly Carl is content to roll around on the bed kissing before finally succumbing to being the little spoon. He feels Ron's breath on his neck as Ron's fingers interlace with his own.

"I applied for a job at Kroger," Ron murmurs.

"Why?"

"Money. There's something I wanna do."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you," he says. "I don't wanna promise you something if I can't make it happen."

Carl pauses and rolls over, resting his head an inch away from Ron's. "You're stupid," he mumbles. "You think I care if you can't keep your promises?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I just need you to promise me you'll love me. If something happens and you stop, I need to know."

Ron hums softly and kisses his forehead. "I promise."

+

It’s almost the anniversary of Lori’s death. Rick doesn’t mention it much so Carl keeps his feelings to himself. He has trouble sleeping. He draws away from everything—everything but Ron. Carl doesn’t understand the constant yearning to be with him. He’s never thought of himself as clingy. Then again, he’s never had a secret boyfriend so maybe it has something to do with that.

Ron doesn’t seem to mind. They do homework together at the dining room table and watch movies in Ron’s room and play video games in Carl’s room. Both prove to be perfect distractions until one of their TV sessions is interrupted by Ron’s phone ringing.

The conversation is short and Carl only hears Ron's side of it. He hangs up and smiles at Carl who's busy lying on his bed picking pills off his sweatshirt.

"I got the job," he says.

"I got that," Carl says back. "Congrats. Now you can take me on dates."

"I'm not wasting money on dates. Enid and I never even really 'dated'," he says, using air quotes.

Carl stops what he’s doing, supposing this would be the best time to ask this question: “Did you have sex with her?" Ron looks down and Carl feels a little guilty for asking because it’s none of his business. Ron seems really uncomfortable so Carl sits up, pulling his sleeves over the tips of his fingers. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I just thought—”

“No, it’s fine,” Ron says, waving a hand. He gets out of his chair and crosses the room, sitting next to Carl on the edge of the bed. “We did a few times.”

“Oh.”

Ron sighs. “Carl...”

Carl nods and feels a little more at ease when Ron leans against his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He doesn’t know when he got so possessive or whiny, maybe because Ron said he wouldn’t waste money on dates. Maybe it’s just that he’s missing Lori a lot lately. Suddenly, tears fill his eyes and he can’t figure out if it’s because Ron and Enid had sex or because now Ron won’t have as much free time or because he hasn’t slept a collective 20 hours in the past week.

“Hey,” Ron whispers, panicky.

Ron gets up to close the door and when by the time he sits back down, tears are sliding down Carl’s cheeks. He’s pissed at himself for crying and he cries when he gets mad so it’s a catch-22. “Sorry,” he groans, wiping at his face with his sleeve.

"If it makes you feel better, you and I have already had sex more times than Enid and I did."

"It's not that," he half-lies.

Ron wraps an arm around Carl’s shoulders and pulls him into a hug. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just—everything,” Carl mumbles into his shoulder. He’s trembling just a little and it only gets worse when he tries to make himself stop.

“It’s okay,” Ron assures him. It’s really not, though. Lori is gone and Ron and Enid have had sex and now Ron won’t be around as much, so no, everything is not okay. Carl tries to pull back but Ron won’t let him so he lets his nose make a snotty spot on Ron's favorite t-shirt.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

Carl finally gives in and loops his arms around Ron’s thin frame. “I’m just going through some stuff.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Ron pulls back and brushes Carl’s hair out of his face. “When you want to, I’m here.”

Carl gives him a weak smile. “I know.”

They never do talk about it but Carl figures Ron has a hunch because he asks if Carl would like a ride to the cemetery later in the week. Of course he would.

+

When Ron starts his job, he works 4 hours a night and 8 hour days on weekends. At first Carl hates it but when Ron gets his first paycheck, he takes Carl to the movies.

“It’s not a date,” Ron reminds him.

Carl smiles as he holds Ron’s hand in the popcorn line. “Okay, Ron.”

+

Ron has an epic, for lack of a better word, road trip in mind: winding through Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Arkansas, hopping on Route 66 and driving all the way to the Santa Monica Pier. He tells Carl about it during lunch when they've decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and eat outside under the tree.

"Yeah but will our parents go for that?"

"My mom will. She's pretty cool with most stuff. Your dad on the other hand..."

"I'll handle my dad," Carl says with confidence. "I can wear him down if your mom can't."

"Good, because I can't wait to listen to shitty music on Pandora and eat at hole-in-the-wall diners and make out with you under the stars."

"What about college? Won't you need to get ready?" College is a sore subject; Carl rarely brings it up. He doesn't want Ron to go away at all, much less to a school that's 3 hours away.

"We'll leave a few days after I graduate and be back in two weeks. I got it all figured out."

+

Of course when two nights later Ron brings it up, Jessie says she'll think about it. Carl trusts that she honestly will think about it and she isn't just saying that to appease them. Rick, on the other hand—

"Absolutely not."

"Dad—" Carl tries.

"You're sixteen."

"And I'm seventeen," Ron interjects, "almost eighteen. I think I can handle a road trip."

"What about your job?"

"That's why I got the job. I can put my two weeks in before we leave. I'm leaving for college at the end of the summer anyway so I'll have to quit eventually."

"You're too young," Rick says in his that's-my-final-answer tone. Thankfully, Jessie cuts in.

"Rick, we need to at least talk about it." She turns to the boys with a light smile. "We'll think about it."

Ron nods and walks out. Carl follows with a soft "thanks, Jessie" before going upstairs to his room.

"They're gonna say no," Ron tells him, following behind.

"Your mom is actually reasonable so there's a chance she could convince my dad." Carl shuts his bedroom door and stretches out on the bed.

Ron sits down on the edge of it. "Even if they say no I'll make sure to show you a Kickass Ron Anderson Summer."

"Does a Kickass Ron Anderson Summer include lame 90s music and water slides and out of control parties at Enid's house?"

"Mostly," Ron shrugs. "But it could also include not-lame 2016 music and blowjobs and late night trips to Taco Bell, so it's not all bad."

"Psh, fuck the road trip. I'm down for blowjobs and Doritos tacos." Carl smiles up at Ron and Ron smiles back at him. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm beat."

Ron gives him a risky peck on the lips and stands up. "Sleep terribly, have nightmares."

"I hate you," Carl says in the most affectionate way someone can say "I hate you".

"I love you too."

+

To both Ron and Carl's amazement, Jessie gets Rick to say yes to their road trip idea. Ron spends most of his time working when he's not at school to save up for what it'll cost them in food, hotels and gas. Carl pitches in a little too and together at the end of the school year they have about $1,200 saved. Of course Jessie and Rick give them a little and Ron is allowed to use a small amount of graduation money for said trip.

They're packed and ready to leave on the Tuesday morning following graduation, just the two of them. The say their goodbyes, even taking time to hug Sam.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Carl says softly as Jessie, Sam and Rick watch them drive away in Ron's Jeep. He reaches blindly across the car and rests a hand on Ron's knee. Ron's hand comes to rest on top of his.

"It's gonna be great."

"Except at the end of it we're gonna have to go home and you'll pack for college and leave me," Carl pouts.

"Don't think about that part just yet."

+

The stop for the first night in Oklahoma City after driving for 12 hours. It's dusk when they grab their bags from the back of Ron's Jeep and carry them into the hotel. Their room is at the end of the hall on the second floor and has one big glorious king size bed in the middle of it, ideal for fucking and sleeping and cuddling. But most importantly: fucking.

Carl has barely had time to close the door when Ron shoves him by his shoulders and he stumbles back toward the bed. He falls on the mattress and kicks off his shoes, pulls off his t-shirt and halfway pulls his shorts off before Ron grabs the bottle of lube he brought from home.

"Get over here," Carl pants desperately; he's already hard in his boxers.

Ron tosses the bottle of lube onto the bed, not meaning to hit Carl in the head with it (though he does) and quickly undresses, crawling onto the bed. "Take these off," Ron groans, pulling at Carl's underwear.

Carl lifts his hips and does just that, spreading his legs so Ron can crawl between them. He wraps his arms around Ron's shoulders and hooks his legs around his thighs, sighing when Ron's full weight rests on top of him.

Ron starts with kisses down his neck and back up to his ear. "Can we maybe skip foreplay? I really want my dick in your ass."

"Same," Carl gasps, pushing Ron back. He flips onto his belly and rises to his knees. He nearly trembles as he hears the pop of the lube cap followed by the pressing of a slick finger into his ass. "Oh fuck."

Carl glances over his shoulder to watch Ron pour a small amount of lube on his dick in preparation, spreading it even and jerking himself with his left hand. Carl whines at the sight and suddenly regrets the decision to skip foreplay. It's okay, though, because there will be plenty more times for it in the next two weeks.

Carl grabs the bottle of lube as Ron slips a second finger in, twisting and thrusting them gently. He manages to pour a small amount in his hand and stroke his own cock, moaning softly at the slick, wet sounds. He really, really wants Ron inside of him so he rocks back against Ron's fingers. "Come on," he whines desperately. "I'm good, come on."

In truth, he's probably not open enough yet but Ron slicks his hole with a little more lube and grabs his hips, pushing just the head in.

Carl hisses and wraps a hand around his cock, turning to meet Ron's lips in a kiss when Ron leans forward. He pushes his ass back a little at a time until Ron is all the way in. He tries to concentrate on not coming because it's been so long that he could stroke himself a few times and that would be the end of it.

Ron peppers kisses up Carl's spine. "Can I move yet?"

"Please, yes, I thought you'd—"

Ron pulls back and snaps his hips roughly. Carl's forgotten just how good Ron is at this and how he gets better every time.

"Hard," Carl mutters, his head hanging between his shoulders. He wants so badly to touch himself but he knows that almost as soon as he does, he'll be coming.

Ron understands completely just want Carl wants and he delivers. He thrusts hard and fast, the sound of the skin slapping together the only thing Carl can concentrate on. He's moaning; he doesn't have to be too quiet. He listens to Ron pant above him and there's no way he can resist. He reaches between his thighs and strokes himself and just as he thought, he's coming within a few seconds.

Just then, without warning, Carl's phone rings and they both know it's probably one of their parents and if they don't answer they'll probably just keep getting interrupted. So Ron pulls out of Carl with a groan and Carl takes the phone when Ron tosses it to him.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where are you?" Rick asks.

Carl rolls his eyes, glancing over at Ron who's standing with his dick in his hand expectantly. "We just got to the hotel and we're trying to check in," Carl lies easily, "can I call back?"

"But you're fine?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Call you in a bit. Bye, Dad." Carl hangs up and turns his phone on silent, tossing it to the side of the bed. Before it even hits the floor Ron is inside of him again.

He grips Carl's hips tightly and fucks him good and fast. What happens next is both surprising and titillating; Ron raises a hand and drops it hard on Carl's bare ass.

"Oh god," Carl moans.

Ron does it again and Carl feels his cock stir with interest between his legs, but then Ron is grabbing a handful of hair and pulling his head back. Ron's thrusts grow erratic and then he comes inside of Carl, one hand on his hip and the other still fisted in his hair.

Ron pulls out and falls to the side. "Oh my god I'm so fucking spanking you later."

"I'll suck your dick if you do," Carl offers. He turns to sit on his ass and moves to the edge of the bed.

"Whereareyougoing?" Ron mumbles against his pillow.

"Clean up." Carl tries to stand and stumbles a little. "Oh my god, you broke my legs. They don't work."

Ron turns into his back and grabs a few tissues from the box on the nightstand, offering them to Carl. Carl takes the tissues, swiping them between his thighs. He crawls back onto bed and Ron wastes no time in pulling Carl into his arms. The best thing about sex with Ron is that when they're done, Ron turns into a relentless cuddle monster. He smothers Carl with neck and cheek kisses and tight embraces and soft belly rubs. This time proves to be no different; Ron pulls Carl's back firmly against his chest and kisses his shoulder. Carl grins as Ron noses his hair and waits for the belly rub. Ron's arm slips from around his chest to his abs and then his lower belly.

Carl falls asleep to the gentle circles Ron rubs into his pale skin.

+

The next morning they're up at 8 because Carl has a coffee quest that he must conquer. But first he needs a shower to wash off the grime of being in a car for 12 hours and having sex before falling asleep.

When he gets out and changes into clean clothes he steps quietly over to Ron's side of the bed and leans down to kiss him awake. It sounds a lot cuter than it is; Ron doesn't really respond so Carl has to shake his shoulder. "I want coffee."

"What time is it?"

Carl glances at the clock. "Eight. C'mon, I need coffee. Free breakfast downstairs, remember?"

"I'm tired," Ron says, pulling the blanket up to his chin. "Lemme sleep."

Carl rolls his eyes; it's way too early to be this annoyed. He reaches down and grabs Ron's dick through the blankets.

"Oh, hey," Ron jerks, sitting up.

"Get up and I'll blow you later."

"Like, after breakfast?"

Carl sighs. "If you want, Ron."

"Alright, I'm up." Ron throws the blanket to the side and walks into the bathroom naked.

+

As promised, Carl drops to his knees when they get back to the room after breakfast. It's kind of beautiful if a blowjob can be beautiful in any way. The sunlight streams through the curtains on the window and splashes them both with warm yellow light. Carl's hair shines in it and when he looks up at Ron, it seems to make Ron's brown eyes sparkle impossibly.

As Carl pulls off to lick at his tip, Ron runs a hand through Carl's hair. "I want to remember this forever."

"So you can jerk off to the memory at college?"

"Precisely." Ron reaches for his phone on the nightstand and opens the camera. "Look at me."

Carl laughs when he realizes just what Ron's intentions are but he slips his lips around the head of his dick and looks up at him.

Ron comes on Carl's face a few minutes later and tucks himself back into his jeans. "We should probably get packed, check out is at eleven."

+

Over the next few days through Texas and New Mexico, they stop at any and every roadside attraction that seems interesting. They hold hands and eat at shitty diners and have lazy sex and morning sex and shower sex and they still can't get enough of each other.

With each mile behind them, Carl remembers that in a few months Ron won't be around so much. He hopes that won't be a problem. He hopes he and Ron never end. But if they never end that means telling their parents and that, Carl imagines, is not going to go over well.

"Hey," Ron says from across the car. They're about halfway through New Mexico.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Carl turns his head to look at Ron. "We have to tell our parents about us."

"I know."

"Soon. Maybe when we get back."

"I know." Ron reaches over and grabs Carl's hand. "We will."

+

They reach Santa Monica 5 days into the trip. They're staying for 3 nights and then turning around and heading back home. Carl gets a little panicked when he thinks about their time together ending so he holds Ron's hand as much as he can and kisses him whenever he wants and sleeps with his head on Ron's chest.

During one of these many cuddle sessions Carl dozes off and wakes up to the sound of the camera on Ron's phone and a soft "shit".

"Sorry," Ron says sheepishly.

"I wasn't asleep. Almost, but I wasn't."

Ron pulls Carl closer and kisses his forehead. "I just want to remember us like this, you know? All sleepy and cuddly and shit."

Carl chuckles and nods against his shoulder. "I want to remember us like this, too."

+

They pack up their hotel room on the third night in Santa Monica after many trips to the pier and the beach. There's a companionable silence as they do so, broken only by soft questions and softer answers. They walk to the diner across the street for dinner and come back to curl up in bed together, giving Rick and Jessie a quick call to tell them that they're heading back tomorrow, as planned.

+

"Maybe we can just stop at one of these little towns and stay forever," Carl says somewhere in Arizona.

"Maybe," Ron says, "but I have to go to college and you need to finish high school. Maybe then we can stop at a little town and stay forever."

"Are you saying you want me to move in with you after I graduate?"

Ron shrugs. "I'm saying I want to be with you for as long as I can. But first we gotta tell our folks."

+

The last four days of the trip are grueling and nothing of note happens except more shitty diners and hand holding and hotel sex. They ditch their almost empty bottle of lube somewhere outside of Atlanta when they fill up the gas tank for the last time.

Rick, Jessie and Sam are all waiting when Ron pulls into the driveway. Ron gets out first and Carl watches through the windshield before making himself get out, too. He hugs Rick and Jessie and gives Sam a fist bump. He's tired, but when he carries his bags upstairs into his room he realizes just how much he missed being home.

+

They recuperate for a few days and have Mikey and Enid over to hang out. That same evening, Ron finds Carl in his room.

"You wanna tell them now?" he asks, leaning against the doorway. "Sam's gone, it'd be a good time. We have to tell them about us."

"I don't ever want to," Carl mutters.

"Come on, we gotta do it sooner or later."

+

Jessie sits with her head in her hands at the table. Rick glares like he wants to strangle both of them.

"How long?"

Carl glances at Ron and contemplates lying, but Ron beats him to it. "A little before I graduated," Ron says. "Maybe a month."

The four of them sit in tense silence. Carl stares at the table and doesn't know how this is going to change things, if at all. Judging by the silence, it's going to change.

"Go upstairs," Jessie tells him. "We'll come up in a bit."

+

Turns out Jessie and Rick aren't as upset as Carl guesses they'd be. It's just that he and Ron are grounded for the rest of the summer and Rick is going to take their bedroom doors off the hinges. Rick probably understands that this won't keep Ron and Carl from loving each other, but it will discourage them from having sex or fooling around in the house.

Carl gets his door removed second; Ron is in the shower when it happens so it's just the three of them. "I love him," Carl says softly. "He loves me too. I'm sorry."

"There are better ways to deal with that than sneakin' around," Rick says with a grunt, lifting the door down after Jessie unscrews the screws.

"I love him," Carl repeats. "I'm sorry."

Jessie gives him a sympathetic smile when Rick scoffs and runs her fingers through his hair, still holding the drill. "You should let me trim this."

"Maybe before school," Carl promises. All in all, they're both taking it pretty well. "After... after Ron leaves, like, for college, will it be okay if we're together?"

"Let's see if you make it that long, then we'll see."

"We will," Carl tells him confidently. They do love each other after all.

Rick leans Carl's bedroom door against the wall in the hallway. "Time will tell."

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated. there will be 1 more part to this unless y'all can give me ideas and convince me to continue further. ❤️ thanks for reading.


End file.
